The Bride's Maid Part One: Joining the Wedding Party

I have been fortunate to have been in five weddings in the past two and a half years, with more scheduled to come. I've had the lime green, chocolate, watermelon, Tiffany's blue, and red bridesmaid dress. Only one was not strapless - unfortunately. But I loved them just the same!! Noting all the experiences I've had with weddings this far, this next series will be focusing on "The Bride's Maid" and because truly - the Millenial Modern Woman is the bridesmaid of today.

But first, before we get into this week's blog post and the first part of this next series titled "The Bride's Maid," we need to discuss why this series is titled "The Bride's Maid" and NOT "The Bridesmaid." I think what many people forget during weddings is if you're not the bride or the groom (well sometimes even the groom) - you're an accessory. The bridesmaid truly is - the Bride's MAID - and for good reason. Though I have yet to get married, though I hope one day it will eventually happen, I do recognize why the bridesmaid exists. For one, planning a wedding is difficult! Gathering a large number of people for a ceremony and really fancy party when you have never done it before, all while making a lifetime committment to one person, is HARD. Hence - you get maids - to HELP you. And so, I title this series "The Bride's Maid."

Joining the wedding party can be very exciting! However, many people stop to think about what this involves. For one, you are joining an event, and a show in a way, for a very important friend or family member! Yes - a show. You're on stage and performing,whether it's a church wedding where you're walking down the aisle (remembering to smile), or you are teaching a party dance at the reception to get people up and enjoying the festivities. You are ON from the moment you wake up on the rehearsal day until you make it back to your home or hotel room the night of the wedding (or early morning of the day after). You SHOULD be tired. But more about this later in Part Three- The Wedding.

Most important to remember is the costs associated with being a part of the wedding. Many individuals think it's just about the tux or the bridesmaid dress. However, if you are an out-of-towner, you must consider the flight or gas to arrive to your destination (and parking for your car or perhaps doggy daycare), the hotel room (you shouldn't be relying on the bride to put you up - remember that it's not about you), meals, etc. Even if you are from in town, you need to consider the dress or tux, the alterations, and other items that might pop up. Now I'm not trying to discourage those who may be on a budget, like myself, but I have seen the occasional bride be "jilted" by a maid that just couldn't afford to be in the wedding after they had made the commitment. The polite thing to do, I repeat, the polite thing to do when you know that you cannot afford the costs associated with a wedding is to let your friend or family member know. It is disappointing, don't get me wrong, but if he or she is a true friend they will understand. We all have budgets and putting bridesmaid dresses on your credit card (for example - three for me), doesn't help when you're trying to save.

Make sure you are COMMITTED when you accept the invitation to be a bridesmaid. Be sure you are willing to take on all that comes with being a Bride's Maid. Being a true friend means making your friend or family member's wedding the best and easiest it can possibly be!

Next: Check out The Bride's Maid Part Two: Supporting the Planner, Supporting the Bride